A guest blog from a Nigerian writer, Dami Myne
Hi everyone! Welcome back to my blog. If you are new here. You are right on time. Hop right in, today we are going to Nigeria. This is a contribution from Dami who is our guest today. I asked her to write about the dating scene in Nigeria and she delivered in the most poetic and romantic way! But of course I am biased, you will be the judge. For now here is her bio:
“Dami Myne is a Communications Assistant by day and a Chicken terrorist by night. She loves God, good food, family, travel and money in that order You can often find her hanging out with friends, watching YouTube videos, writing poetry or thinking about the meaning of life”
I will link her blog at the end, for now, let’s hear what she has to say:
When I think of Love and Dating in Nigeria, I think of beauty and chaos all at once. If I were to describe it with a genre of music, I would use Afrobeats. Why Afrobeats? It’s the mainstream music genre here in Nigeria. It’s played at weddings, in restaurants where people go on dates, at events where people bump into each other and fall in love. It’s played everywhere and love can happen anywhere.
The average young Nigerian scoffs at the idea of falling in love and rightfully so. The stories of breakfast, lunch and dinner served by Nigerian men and women would deter anyone from attempting such emotional aerobics. And while this is almost a proven fact, the average Nigerian is raised to get married. Marriage is a big part of our culture and a huge milestone here. While you might have a successful career, enough money to go to Maldives when you feel like it, lunch with Asa, Bonang or Beyonce every other weekend and everything you could ever want… It doesn’t make sense to Nigerians if you aren’t married. In fact, you are judged for being single at a certain age. All these and more are why Nigerians date. In simple terms, as you age, the pressure is getting worser.
People here claim that love is expensive. The dates, money spent on data plans, cab fares or petrol costs, cost of clothes for dates and hangouts, gifts for your significant other(s) and other unexpected expenses. I agree. The restaurants here really try to strangle your bank account for a single meal. If you went on a date once in two weeks, you could be homeless at the end of the year. Let’s not talk about the clothing vendors
Nigerians can be very secretive about their relationships. You see someone posting about how men are scum on Tuesday and by Sunday, you see pictures of their wedding on Instagram. Many of us believe that heartbreak is inevitable, which is why it’s common here to see women post little to nothing of their men on social media. Heartbreak is painful and embarrassing and some humans are very careless with the hearts of others. The horror stories are endless. I’ve heard stories of women and men who think they are in secure relationships only to find out via social media that their partner got married. How sick is that? These days, many Nigerians walk very slowly into love while looking out for red flags or green ones and praying to God that it doesn’t end in tears. And so, we hide our relationships, situationships and talking stages because there is quite a lot of shame that comes with every failed attempt at a relationship.
Then we have the heartless players who serve breakfast for living. These people don’t help matters because they are the reason people think Love is a scam. And yet, they seem to go on the best dates, have the best men and women, and have the soft life we all seem to want. It’s maddening until the relationship ends and they move to the next relationship. Personally, I think it is deliberate on the part of some and others are clueless about their actions. Some people just don’t know how to commit and they take their toxic relationship habits into the lives of unsuspecting victims. There is no black or white when it comes to these things. Many of those relationship threads on Twitter are ultimately just biased positions of imperfect people.
Some Nigerians are more adventurous and are willing to fall in love blindly. The hopeful and hopeless romantics. These guys get trolled on Twitter a lot because people cannot believe their audacity to be in a happy relationship. Personally, I think they are just jealous because no matter how condescending Nigerians sound when they speak about Love, we love Love. We love to talk about it, hear about it, watch it and sing about it. Deep down, we all want to love and be loved which is why we can’t get enough of cute couple pictures and videos.
We might sing Burna Boy’s “last last”, Nigeria’s heartbreak anthem, like our lives depend on it but in reality, we are hoping that Chike or Timi Dakolo will perform at our weddings while we dance and laugh with the love of our lives…..(END)
Thank you for reading and take care!
Find more of her work at :https://thedamimyne.wordpress.com/